Taking over the world, one free service at a time

Okay, they've done it again. It pains me a little bit that the folks at Google are a bunch of tree-hugging, liberal arse-buckets but the little shop of horrors in Mt. View, CA continues to churn out cool things that I can't do without. And, they're always free so how can I be expected to resist? I already use their search engine, Blogger, Picasa (desktop & web), Analytics, Maps, Earth, Video & YouTube and I'm just scratching the surface of what they offer. You can view the entire (well, almost) Google empire by clicking here.

Now, I don't know about you but Verizon bends me over for $1.25 every time I dial 411 from my cell phone, which basically means that I don't dial 411 from my cell phone. I mean seriously, I actually have to pay THEM $1.25 for this:

Computer Voice: What city and state please?
Me: Bumble Fart, GA
Computer Voice: What listing?
Me: Bumble Fart Pizza
Waiting...
Waiting...
Waiting...
IndoChinoMexiPolynesian Voice: Whtble sutee oun stubjkisaa? ("What City and State" I presume)
Me: BUMBLE FART, GA!
IndoChinoMexiPolynesian Voice: Whtble whislinghubwedump? ("What Listing" - I'm using Google Translator now)
Me: BUMBLE FART PIZZA! Didn't I just give all of this information to the computer voice which oddly enough speaks better English than you?
IndoChinoMexiPolynesian Voice: (Ignoring my U.S. consumer IndoChinoMexiPolynesian outsourcing rage) Thavnkro oui, pujise hullm (Thank you, please hold)
Computer Voice: Verizon Wireless is now connecting you at no additional charge (other than the buck-twenty-five we already tapped you for) to 770-###-####

Now, of course I don't have anything to write down the number with so I'm trying to make up a song in my head to remember it with. I'd check my recent calls for the number except that Oh, Yeah, the number I DIALED was 4-1-1. Murphy's law says that at this point I either get a busy signal, no answer or my call will be re-routed to the dropped call abyss cause they know I'm gonna have to call back to 411 to get the number again. They should change their tag line from "Can you hear me now" to "Can you feel it now?" They could at least give me some pillow talk along the way. This entire rant was meant to introduce you to my latest guilty Google pleasure... Goog-411. That's right, Google has a 411 service that is of course free AND it speaks English. You can search by category, business name, repeat the information, have a text message and map link sent via text message to your phone or have it connect you to the number (or all of the above). No more 411 for me! By the way, I'm screwed if one day Google decides to flip a switch that makes all of their services fee based. It's a conspiracy.