A hotdog with your relish?

I'll get right to the point... squeeze products suck! This is what happens when the guys at the relish company realize that there is absolutely nothing you can do to change, update, enhance or otherwise modify their product. It's relish for cryin' out loud. So, they decide to pull some stupid crap and go with the tried and true packaging update. They figure they'll do us a favor and make the painful job of spreading relish on a hotdog "easier" by putting it in a friggin' squeeze bottle. Have they actually used this thing? It's not like Ketchup or Mustard where the stuff is thin and flows out of the bottle nice and easy(just don't forget to shake the mustard- ack!). No, these tards gave us a bottle that if squeezed lightly provides only enough pressure to cause relish JUICE to pour out and soggy up your dog and bun. If you give it the good solid squeeze required to get the relish moving you end up with THIS:

No seriously, blasting three-quarters of a bottle of relish out onto my hotdog, opening the bottle to scoop it all back in and then making a new bun to replace the relish-juice sponge formally know as my old hotdog bun is way faster than just scooping it out of a jar the way we use to.

I'm thinking it's a money making scheme. My experience with squeeze mayo and various squeeze jellies have all ended in similar catastrophes at one time or another. In the old days you'd slap some gunk on your knife, spread it out and then put the left-over back with a quick swipe across the edge of the jar. They're banking on the average Joe over-squeezing and then flipping the excess into the sink rather than unscrewing the cap off the squeeze bottle and finessing the blob back into it. Well they're right! I'm thinking we're going to have to implement a ban on squeeze products in this house. Ketchup, Mustard and toothpaste will be exempt. They were meant to be squeezed.


Pomai said...

we have that bottle, but only because it was on sale. it's horrible. ha.

Heather said...

This is seriously cracking me up because the EXACT same thing happened to me at a BBQ on the 4th of July. What the? Your hot dog looks good, though...minus some relish. You have such a way of expressing the exact thoughts that go through my head!

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