I had a thought Sunday in church as I sat watching our youngest daughter Brooke. Nobody actually teaches us to pick our nose. It's one of those things that just happens naturally. It's in our DNA. We have to learn how to crawl, how to walk, be potty trained and yet somwhere along the way we start picking our nose just like no big deal. Pretty sweet if you ask me.
This video is actually from Labor Day but when I ran across it again this afternoon I felt the need to share it. It's a highlight reel of one of the greatest Rock Band drumming performances of all time. I don't want to rat out the perp but you might find his family blog here.
Yeah, we came to the hospital yesterday cause Heather was having some problems again and long story short, we now have a very premature baby girl. Yep, 12 weeks before her due date and I guess the baby just couldn't wait to get here. Mom and baby are doing about as well as can be expected.
Ryan Heather J
9/21/08
2 lbs. 9 oz.
14 1/2 in
It's a minor departure from the BIG babies we normally have. She's going to be in the hospital for a while - possibly until mid December - so I decided to start her a blog all her own to keep everyone up to date on her progress. You can find it here: http://babyrhj.blogspot.com/
Okay, so I already had my little rant on squeeze products but seriously, how much can one person be expected to endure? The only thing worse than an ill advised squeeze product is one that is expected to be there and isn't. The folks at Hidden Valley are public enemy number one in this regard. All of their bottles are plastic, almost all of them have a lid that screws off and most of them have that little insert in the top of the bottle that allows you to squeeze out just the right amount of ranch onto your salad (or pretty much any other food if you're under the age of 6). Well, on occasion you get that random plastic bottle with the screw off lid that just has a gaping hole in it (i.e. - pour me!) and not the helpful squeezy insert. If someone (me) wasn't paying close attention to what they were doing (shocker) they might open that bottle, flip it over and give it a good squeeze, creating a mess on their plate that is equal parts salad and salad dressing.
The picture doesn't do it complete justice since ranch tends to immediately spread out and work it's way down into the lettuce making it impossible to recover. Maybe I should have used relish instead.
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Don't forget to vote in the new poll on the right. I'm thinking about starting a crusade and I need to know if you've got my back.
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Okay, so we already know that Sarah Palin exhibits more dude behavior than John McCain, nObama, and Biden put together and after seeing this I think that maybe the other McCain (Cindy) might be a nice option as well... (It kind of cuts off at the end - their doing, not mine)
I'll get right to the point... squeeze products suck! This is what happens when the guys at the relish company realize that there is absolutely nothing you can do to change, update, enhance or otherwise modify their product. It's relish for cryin' out loud. So, they decide to pull some stupid crap and go with the tried and true packaging update. They figure they'll do us a favor and make the painful job of spreading relish on a hotdog "easier" by putting it in a friggin' squeeze bottle. Have they actually used this thing? It's not like Ketchup or Mustard where the stuff is thin and flows out of the bottle nice and easy(just don't forget to shake the mustard- ack!). No, these tards gave us a bottle that if squeezed lightly provides only enough pressure to cause relish JUICE to pour out and soggy up your dog and bun. If you give it the good solid squeeze required to get the relish moving you end up with THIS:
No seriously, blasting three-quarters of a bottle of relish out onto my hotdog, opening the bottle to scoop it all back in and then making a new bun to replace the relish-juice sponge formally know as my old hotdog bun is way faster than just scooping it out of a jar the way we use to.
I'm thinking it's a money making scheme. My experience with squeeze mayo and various squeeze jellies have all ended in similar catastrophes at one time or another. In the old days you'd slap some gunk on your knife, spread it out and then put the left-over back with a quick swipe across the edge of the jar. They're banking on the average Joe over-squeezing and then flipping the excess into the sink rather than unscrewing the cap off the squeeze bottle and finessing the blob back into it. Well they're right! I'm thinking we're going to have to implement a ban on squeeze products in this house. Ketchup, Mustard and toothpaste will be exempt. They were meant to be squeezed.
Our friend Eva posted this picture that she had taken on her honeymoon. It's somewhere in Tennessee or North Carolina I think. When I saw it, it brought a little tear to my eye. :)
It should really be considered child abuse to be starting school this early in August but if the teachers are going to take 4 days off a month and Thanksgiving, Christmas and Spring Breaks then I guess you have to start 'em early. I'm sure they'll figure out a way to have paid time off on election day as well so they can get out and fulfill their NEA marching orders. Shocker - I just checked the school calendar and they just happen to have a "Professional Learning Day" scheduled for Nov. 4th. Yeah right. This is turning into an angry rant so I better stop.
This was REALLY the "First Day of School" for Madi as she starts kindergarten this year. It's kinda weird that she's grown up so much. She seems a little more innocent than Sam did when she started (Mom cried a little when she got on the bus). Madi is super excited to be going to school and is already loving it.
Sam is in 4th grade this year which is really weird. It doesn't seem like it was that long ago that we were sending her off for the first time. She's going to be a teenager in no time which will be okay since she already acts like one. We were able to go over and meet both of their teachers and we're pretty happy so far. Sam hasn't had great luck the past couple of years so we're hoping this one holds up.
I'm a little late in getting these pictures posted, mostly because it has taken me this long to recover. Last week, we took the girls to Babyland General Hospital in Cleveland, GA. Now, if you aren't a girl or if you don't live with 4 1/2 girls, you might not know that it is the birthplace of the Cabbage Patch Kids. I actually have fond memories of Cabbage Patch Kids although they are slightly different than the memories Heather has. She remembers doing their hair, dressing them up and playing house with them. I remember laughing every time I heard a story on the news about some crazed fat woman punching someone out at Toys-R-Us while trying to get one. To each his own, I suppose. Anyway, this is what's called "payback for the Braves game" in my world. The girls had a great time and I'm pretty sure that they loved their new Cabbage Patch Kids for like 2 days after that. They've been posted on eBay if you're interested. (J/K)
Who's Charlie Morton? He's a pitcher that the Braves keep calling up from the minors and he stinks. Apparently they think he can pitch but our trip to the Braves game tonight saw him go 3.2 innings giving up 7 Hits, 8 Earned runs and 4 walks to the Cards. Needless to say we didn't get to see a win. In fact, it was a 12-3 beat down. It was still fun though and the girls always have a good time when we go down to the games. I guess it's the one bone I've been thrown as a way of helping offset the hours of dance recitals, Hanna Montana, Barbie Dolls, Webkinz, Polly Pockets...shall I go on? Luckily it was only about 99 degrees with 55% humidity (yes, that's sarcasm) so the weather was a fitting addition to the great game. I snapped some pictures of the evening with my phone. The pregnant lady was not at all interested in being in front of the camera so you only get to see her in the background. I wasn't going to force the issue.
The girls...(there are TWO more in the back)
Brooke keeping cool. By the way, I was not allowed to use the fan becauseas Brooke put it, "You will run the batteries out."
Dad and Brooke hanging out. She was supposed to make a crazy face too but she tricked me.
Sam and Madi Showing off their pink and purple Braves gear. My world is upside down people!By the way, Brooke had the greatest idea tonight and I swear she came up with it completely out of the blue and on her own. You know the seamless LED ribbon boards that they have around the decks in all of the pro stadiums now? Well, we're sitting there watching the game and Brooke looks up at me and says, "Daddy, you need those in your office." I asked her what she was talking about and she points up at the LED boards and says, "Those! That would be cool if you had those in your office. Then you could have the oh oh oh oh oh (she's doing the Tomahawk Chop) and the lights"(there were pictures of tomahawks chopping at the time). Brooke, I have to say that I completely agree. That would be outrageously cool. I'm adding that to my Christmas/Birthday/Father's Day list immediately. I also wouldn't mind having that 30 foot tall, Tomahawk Choppin' Chick-fil-a cow that they have above left field if you can swing it.
Well, we went in today for another ultrasound and of course we are far enough along now that we were able to find out what we are having. If you said boy...
You'd be WRONG!
David & Julie were watching the girls for us while we went to the doctor and we wanted to come up with a fun way of letting them know what their new baby was. They were hoping for a boy. Well, they love Webkinz so we went and picked up 3 pink poodles and got little dog collars for them. On each collar we had a small, pink, heart-shaped tag that had each of the girls names and "It's a Girl" engraved on it. When we went to pick them up we gave them each a plain brown gift bag that was stapled shut. This is what they found...
Even though they wanted a boy they were still pretty happy... Not because they were having a little sister but because they all had ANOTHER new Webkinz. Anyway, it looks like I'm going to be in the market for one (or two) fairly high powered hand guns in the near future so any suggestions you have would be welcomed. The great thing about family is that you always know that they've got your back. Take for example this little exchange we had yesterday...
Brooke: "Daddy, Sam won't let me play Hannah Montana!"
Me: "Okay, I'll beat her and lock her in the closet."
Brooke: (Giggling)"That's a great idea!"
Yes, today is Sam's Birthday...#9. It's an odd year so no party for this one but that didn't stop her from being excited to the point of driving us crazy. She got to pick the restaurant for dinner and of course she picked Sweet Tomatoes of all places. David, Julie & Dawson met us there to eat and then we came back home for cupcakes, ice cream and presents.
Madi is our thinker. She is the one who's always asking questions about things that you wouldn't think a 5 year old would think about and she comes up with her own logical conclusions on things based on what seems to make sense to her. Well, since the frequent topic of discussion around the house is pregnancy, her brain has been working overtime trying noodle the whole thing out. After a couple of comments the other day I decided we should start keeping track of them. Here are few that came to mind right away. I'll update it as she gives us more...
- "You told us that Ashley's mom is having a baby and she got short!"
- "Pregnant ladies are shorter because they're having a baby."
- "Do babies come out with just a diaper on?"
- "Yeah, I threw up and I don't even have a baby in my tummy."
I finally got clips of the girls dance recital put together to post on here. There's about 12 minutes of video which I absolutely think are great due to the fact that it's our girls performing. The only problem is that in order to capture these 12 short minutes, we had to sit through 4 painful hours of recital time. You just have no idea what it's like until you've experienced it. The good news is that I'll be able to enjoy like 20 minutes of the 4 hours when Brooke starts...bonus!
Sam - Glenda & The Munchkins (Wizard of Oz)
Madi - Andalasia (Enchanted)
Sam - Riverdance
Madi -The Twist
Sam - All 4 One (High School Musical)
Sam and Madi were a little under the weather over the weekend and while they seemed pretty normal they each had a random occurance of the yacks. Well, throwing up suddenly became the hot topic around the house. I walked by the girls room where they were all spread out on the floor watching TV and we had a little chat about the upchuckin'. Madi finished it up with the following comment:Madi: "Yeah, I threw up and I don't even have a baby in
my tummy."
Last Tuesday I was out running a couple of errands so I stopped in at a new Arby's near us to pick up some dinner. It was wicked busy, the drive through line was kinda long and slow and the girl on the mic was dumber than your average drive through worker. As I sat there it dawned on me that they had just opened THAT DAY. No wonder. Anyway, as I got up to the window to pick up my order (which of course they screwed up) I happened to glance at the window where they had taped their health department inspection score. A 97? How do you manage that??? The place had been open less than 8 hours and their high water mark is 97. We don't eat at Arby's very often but I'm going to swing back through in a couple of months just to see how close they are to being shut down.
First of all, no word on the kid... It was face down, legs tucked and not moving an inch. We have to go back again next month so maybe we'll have better luck on the next try. You can now place your vote on what you think it is by clicking your selection just below the bobbing fetus on the right side of the page.
Okay, so I'm a bit of a weather watcher (yeah, yeah watcher=geek - I know) and I enjoy kicking back in the garage as our sometimes nasty thunderstorms roll through. One late night last week we had a pretty good one going so I grabbed the video camera to get some shots of the light show. Unfortunately the battery in my boom mic was dead so it came out with no sound. I went back and watched some of the lightning because one strike in particular seemed awfully close. It was one of those where the light and sound came at the exact same time and it definitely caught me off guard. If I had the audio you'd hear that. Anyway, there were two frames of the video that I thought were pretty cool. They came about a half a second apart in real time so the first one is just the warm-up strike. The tree on the left in the first picture is in our next door neighbors yard. The trees in the second picture are one house over and across the street. The second one kinda looks like it was coming after me.
Well, it's not a speck anymore. Here is an ultrasound from last week where you can see that things are movin' right along. It also looks as though it has grown out of the alien phase, so bonus there. We have to go to a specialist this Friday who is going to do an in depth look since mom is going to be older than "25" when the baby is born. There's an outside chance that we'll get a look at what it is (yes, we know it's a human fetus) which everyone is pretty much figuring is another girl. I can't blame 'em. You go with the safe bet right? We'll keep you posted.
Last week I had the chance to chaperone Sam's class on a field trip to a rock quarry (Vulcan Materials) that I drove by pretty much everyday for 7 1/2 years on my way to work. I always wondered what they were doing cause you can't see jack from the road. In our old house, you could easily hear the blasts and the rumbling would shake us pretty good. It's not quite as obvious now but on a cloudy day we can still feel it. It was pretty cool in a "I like to watch Discovery Channel cause I'm a dork" kinda way. I resisted the urge to tell anyone that I had actually watched an entire show on History Channel about the huge dump trucks that they use to carry rock out of the pit. I'll spare you the details of their operation but just to summarize: 650' deep Hole, Explosives, Big Trucks, Grinders argh, argh argh.
If you know what this means you'll know why I posted it. It's not quite FiOS but it's getting there. There are people in the northeast getting 35+ from Comcast so I'm crossing my fingers.
Before I continue, let me say that I do agree that there has been a drought in the state of Georgia. My grass and water bill are evidence of it. However, last Summer and Fall the media beat us over the head with Lake Levels, mediocre rainfall totals and dramatic stories of Sonny Perdue driving to Alabama with his pants down to tell their Governor to kiss his arse. Okay, that didn't really happen, but it should have. Anyhoo, I keep an eye on these things because I have a bit of a green thumb and I like to know if I'm going to have to sneak out into the yard at midnight for some covert watering. So here's my question (and yes, I know the answers)... Why aren't we hearing anything about our near normal rainfall so far this year? Here are the official numbers as reported by the National Weather Service:
Jan - Apr 30yr avg: 18.1 in.
Jan-Apr 2008: 15.92 in.
Jan-Apr 2007: 9.68 in.
Feel free to check my numbers here. Admit it, this is the first time you've heard that we are already 6 inches ahead of last years totals and we're only a couple of inches below the 30 year norm. I know that this wouldn't sell as well as the fear and destruction of a good natural disaster but you'd think they could mention it at least once.
... end of nerd post ...
Well, I was going to keep this somewhat quiet but since the worst kept secret in the world is now out (thanks to some trustworthy Mormons who "won't tell anybody" and bad timing on the part of our talkative 5 year old) I'll go ahead and post this. Say "hello" to our speck. That tiny dot you see in the picture below is next (last) member of our family. Right now it pretty much looks like the creature from Alien. We're hoping it grows out of it soon cause I don't think anyone is going to want to play with him/her at the park with the slimy skin, claws, and all that weird growling & screeching. Not to mention the tendency to viciously attack humans without notice. Not that we wouldn't love it. I mean sure, it would be an alien, but it would be OUR alien.
Heather is doing as well as can be expected. The Morning/Midday/Evening sickness has begun to kick in which is not really great for any of us. We're all really excited and looking forward to a new baby sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I can imagine that this will make for some good posting as things move along (although I have to be careful or the baby might be born to a single Mom).
Today the air is fresher, the sky is bluer, my food tastes better and the Atlanta Hawks are now tied 2-2 with the Boston Celtics. I adopted the Hawks as my team in the early 80's because Spud Webb was short and so was I. Although, thinking back on it, I was in 7th grade and I was almost as tall as he was. Plus, we were living in San Antonio at the time and the Spurs stunk on ice. Well, the years have rolled along and the last 10 have been especially painful. This year we squeaked into the playoffs thanks to a mediocre Eastern Conference and drew the "mighty" Celtics in the first round. For the last two weeks I've had to endure talk of "the big three" and how the Celts were gonna sweep the Hawks and everyone wondering who the Celtics would meet in the NBA finals (Let's not forget that "The Big Three" were all known as great players who couldn't get over the hump with their previous teams). WELL NOT SO FAST BEAN TOWN!!!
I haven't enjoyed watching a Hawks game as much as I did last night since 1988 when the Hawks were screwed out of a series win against none other than the Boston Celtics. I literally could not sit down and the fact that I was not actually at Phillips Arena did not stop me from yelling, cheering, clapping and calling the refs various names that only a Jazz fan would understand. Heather came down the stairs at one point and asked if I could keep it down...clearly I could not. HD, surround sound, my team layin' the wood to the heavily favored Celtics...Isn't keeping it down asking just a little much? It was a great night.
Now, the 66 win team that pasted us in game 1 and game 2 of the series is going back home tied 2-2 and looking OLD. Do we have a chance to pull off one of the greatest upsets in sports history? Maybe. It would sure be nice to see but I don't even really care if the Hawks win the series at this point. I just know that it was fun to watch and for a couple of days we're sure going to enjoy this.
We went to dinner at a local pizza place last night because Heather was craving a calzone and that sounded better than cereal. As we're getting close to being done, Brooke says, "Mommy, I need to go poop". Well, not wanting to hang out for 10 minutes in a public restroom when we were about ready to leave, we do what any good parent does to an impatient 3 year old... we lied to her. We tell her that the bathroom is broken and that we're almost ready to leave so she can go at home (we live about 3 minutes from the place). She puts up a mild fuss and Heather tells her that she's just going to have to wait until we get home and to "Squeeze your cheeks together". She did... (gotta love camera phones)
I mean, Christmas is nice and all but let's be honest, the "most wonderful time of the year" starts today. There's nothing better than the NCAA basketball tournament and it all kicks off in just a couple of hours! The only thing that could ever be better is if the NCAA pulled it's head out and gave us a Division I football playoff. Combine that with Christmas and it might be able to take the "most wonderful time" title back. Until then, I'll take March Madness. Heck, even Heather has her bracket filled out and she's been talkin' smack about it for a month. She's feeling a little cocky after a fairly successful football pick 'em season (2nd place in Pro - 1 point back, 2nd in College and 1st in the Bowl Pick 'em). If she wins the Tournament Pick 'em I'm going to force her to join my NASCAR league. That should get me a win.
Last week Heather's brother Dustin and his family (Heather & Ruby) came out from Utah to see us. We had a great time and it was a lot of fun having them here. On Tuesday we decided to head up to Chattanooga for the day (to see Ruby Falls of course). We ate at Waffle House on the way out of town because you can't come south for the first time and not go to Waffle House. The food is actually pretty good (and the waitresses are smokin' hot) but I'd hit the head BEFORE you go. I'm just sayin'.
There are some more pictures of the day in the photo album on the right. You'll notice that we also went to the 3-D IMAX which I highly recommend if you have the chance. It's fairly amazing just how good the 3-D effect is.
Cause that's how we roll...
I never really thought about it until today when I got a note from my aunt asking about it. The photos in the photo album at the right are from Halloween but none of them are of me and we do not have a son. The little pumpkin boy is Dawson, and he belongs to our friends Julie & David who are both pictured in there as well. I don't end up on the receiving end of many pictures because I'm usually the one taking them. In case you'd like to see all of us, here is a picture from about 18 months ago (sorry - it's all I have, sue me)....
Okay, I realize that I am a geek. I also know more geeks than the average person and I even call a few of them friends. So, why is it that few if any of the people I know maintain a blog or website? You'd THINK that with all of the "high-tech" people I know that there would be more who were into that kind of thing but it seems to be the exact opposite. There is a (good) chance that I'm just out of the loop and people are actually doing it but we'll see.
If you have a blog or website that I'm not aware of, please post a link to it in the comments of this post or email it to me. I'd like to find out what I have been missing. If you aren't as cool as the rest of us and want to start a blog, you can get one right here on Blogger for free. Get signed up and then post. Thanks!
...commercials. Well, one in particular. I realize that it's probably not completely healthy to be laughing at a beer commercial with your 5 year old daughter but it totally cracks us up and it's fun to sit around and yell "sasusage!" at each other. You'll see what I mean. They should have saved this one for the Superbowl.
Every January we have the chance to celebrate our awful planning by having a week long birthday celebration. It starts with Madi's birthday, passes through Brooke's birthday and culminates in a Sunday evening dinner & cupcake feast with David and Julie (& Dawson now) and if the opportunity presents itself, a Nanna & Grandpa. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't love celebrating our kids birthday's but does it really have to be like a mini Mardi Gras? You know, without the half-naked tranny's and rivers of vomit.
I know what you're thinking... and you're wrong. They're not cute. They're smiling cause they have figured out how to triple up on everything. Brooke acts sad when Madi gets her presents. Madi acts sad when Brooke gets hers. Sam is in bed rolled up in the fetal position all week. The solution? Sam, Madi & Brooke each get 3 birthday's every year. I know, it's retarded. Although, by my math that means I get to kick them out of the house when they're six, so bonus! Anyway, it's over and I even survived a trip to Build-A-Bear (a.k.a. Satan's Toy Factory). The Doctor says the bleeding from my inner ear is normal for someone in my situation and that I should be back to normal in time for summer Mardi Gras which we celebrate around July 16th.
It's funny living in Georgia and seeing the utter mayhem that occurs when there is even a hint of snow in the forcast. Well today we actually got some. The 6:00 news spent 25 MINUTES talking about it and I'd say in total we may have 1/2 inch. An inch if we're lucky. Still though, the girls got to go out and play in it a little and they had a ball. We finished it off with a big cup of Hot Chocolate which pretty much made the night perfect.
Okay, they've done it again. It pains me a little bit that the folks at Google are a bunch of tree-hugging, liberal arse-buckets but the little shop of horrors in Mt. View, CA continues to churn out cool things that I can't do without. And, they're always free so how can I be expected to resist? I already use their search engine, Blogger, Picasa (desktop & web), Analytics, Maps, Earth, Video & YouTube and I'm just scratching the surface of what they offer. You can view the entire (well, almost) Google empire by clicking here.
Now, I don't know about you but Verizon bends me over for $1.25 every time I dial 411 from my cell phone, which basically means that I don't dial 411 from my cell phone. I mean seriously, I actually have to pay THEM $1.25 for this:
Computer Voice: What city and state please?
Me: Bumble Fart, GA
Computer Voice: What listing?
Me: Bumble Fart Pizza
Waiting...
Waiting...
Waiting...
IndoChinoMexiPolynesian Voice: Whtble sutee oun stubjkisaa? ("What City and State" I presume)
Me: BUMBLE FART, GA!
IndoChinoMexiPolynesian Voice: Whtble whislinghubwedump? ("What Listing" - I'm using Google Translator now)
Me: BUMBLE FART PIZZA! Didn't I just give all of this information to the computer voice which oddly enough speaks better English than you?
IndoChinoMexiPolynesian Voice: (Ignoring my U.S. consumer IndoChinoMexiPolynesian outsourcing rage) Thavnkro oui, pujise hullm (Thank you, please hold)
Computer Voice: Verizon Wireless is now connecting you at no additional charge (other than the buck-twenty-five we already tapped you for) to 770-###-####
Now, of course I don't have anything to write down the number with so I'm trying to make up a song in my head to remember it with. I'd check my recent calls for the number except that Oh, Yeah, the number I DIALED was 4-1-1. Murphy's law says that at this point I either get a busy signal, no answer or my call will be re-routed to the dropped call abyss cause they know I'm gonna have to call back to 411 to get the number again. They should change their tag line from "Can you hear me now" to "Can you feel it now?" They could at least give me some pillow talk along the way. This entire rant was meant to introduce you to my latest guilty Google pleasure... Goog-411. That's right, Google has a 411 service that is of course free AND it speaks English. You can search by category, business name, repeat the information, have a text message and map link sent via text message to your phone or have it connect you to the number (or all of the above). No more 411 for me! By the way, I'm screwed if one day Google decides to flip a switch that makes all of their services fee based. It's a conspiracy.
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